MEMO — NEVER BORED INCORPORATED
From the Department of Extremely Important Matters
Distribution: Everyone. (Yes, even Ricky.)
RE: Our New Intern
Effective immediately, please join us in welcoming Bradley — Intern, Typewriter, and Human Exclamation Point — to the Never Bored team.
After a rigorous interview process (not dissimilar to the one you all went through via our careers page), Bradley has been appointed to the following:
- Head Mouth — if it needs to be communicated, typed, or sent via carrier pigeon, that’s Bradley’s department now. Doesn’t matter if its internal or external. He will handle it!
- Steward of Coffee Orders — a position of enormous trust. Get it right, and you’re basically tenured, dude. Tea, smoothies, and milkshake orders also fall under this jurisdiction.
- Top Dog Gawker — he is now contractually obliged to stop, pet, and offer any canine he sees a snack. If you see him playing fetch on the rooftop lawn, just know he is hard at work.
Bradley brings to this role a proven track record of showing up on time, an abnormal penchant for puns, and a wicked moonwalk.
Please give him a warm welcome and few noogies. Remember, here at Never Bored Inc., there are no small roles, just short kings— like Bradley.
Still telling knock-knock jokes into the void,
Your CEO
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